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PETA
THIS PAGE IS ABOUT THE HIPPIE PETA, FOR THE REAL AMERICAN MEAT-EATING PETA SEE: REAL PETA FOR THE TROOP HATERS SEE PUTA PETA is a silly attention-whoring, drama-queen-fueled animal rights group that wants to stop Americans from doing anything even remotely American including eating meat, fishing, caging animals for our amusement, shooting animals for our amusement, wearing the skins of animals, eating animals, or dressing up as animals to have outrageous, freakish, kinky sex. It's called a furry fetish and there's nothing wrong with it; ask your mom. The only way to combat PETA's subversive tactics is to make up for the animals that they are not killing. So go, buy a gun, wallpaper your house with bear pelts, feed grease-covered sponges to packs of wild dogs and coyotes, Follow the great example of Theodore Roosevelt. PETA Trivia * PETA consists of Pegans whose reasoning is rooted in animal-worship and vegetarianism/veganism. They're vegan animal worshipers. * PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals * PETA members are often vegans. This means they like food that has no flavor and provides no sustenance. They are pale and weak and can be blown over by a stiff wind. * PETA has protested zoos, circuses and father-son fishing tournaments. Its members also enjoy beating up clowns and otherwise robbing children of the joys of youth. * PETA's most famous spokesperson is actress Pamela Anderson. PETA has not distanced itself from Anderson despite her history of meat eating and beaver abuse. * PETA is in allegiance with bears. The organization promotes the disarming of hunters and would leave us defenseless from the attacks of godless bears. * PETA members have no sense of humor. Expect them to vandalize this entry. * P-Diddy does not like PETA, in fact Diddy is wanted by the Colorado State Police for the gruesome murder of over 25 PETA members. * PETA has been considered by many to be the only thing possibly gayer than the Taepodong missile. * There is some evidence that PETA was founded at the direction of the KGB to weaken America during the cold war era. * Despite saying that they're vegans, they go into the woods at night and eat poor defenseless Pokemon * Most members of PETA are also members of NAMBLA * PETA wants to put an end to animal mascots, but is fine with the Cleveland Indians, Washington Redskins, and the Springfield Baby Molesters. *Hates Jessica Simpson but loves Paul McCartney. *peta wants america to be turned into a vegiefacist wasteland where everyone eats "delicious vegan food" despite the fact that "delicious vegan food" is a paradox * PETA recently lost its damn mind. http://www.wptz.com/news/17539127/detail.html * Thanks to PETA now we have invisible monkeys! * PETA to open new markets in the world of pornography. See also * Liberals * Hippies * PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals * Nambla * Pinky and the Brain * PERV * Vegetarians External Links *PETA declares War on Stephen Colbert: Now is personal! *PETA.org - precisely why the honorable Senator Ted Stevens worries about the tubes exploding * Online petition to remove PETA from existence! * Central Florida Gator Eating & fish report, a site dedicated to catching and eating fish that PETA most likely hates *Texas animal shooting & hooking site devoted to the best hunting place in the world Texas where you can kill a deer and eat it within five minutes of waking up, which pussies like PETA hate *The PETA war on furries *PETA demands Obama's impeachment for murder! *PETA unveils lettuce clothing line *PETA to shave whales now! *PETA liberates domesticated rabbit to socialize with wild foxes *PETA's amazing photos *Killer Orca seeks asylum in PETA's embassy *Awesome Peta ads *PETA to start their own porn site: Promises naked vegetables *PETA protests disgusting sexual objectification of chickens *Peta to reach audiences with their veggie porn